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Jason Dunda's Top Ten SCHOOL SUPPLIES 1. Sharpie Marker Smudge proof, water proof, fade proof, and bulletproof. Ideal for writing your name on your underwear (or on someone else's). Available in seven colours and three sizes, but the best is basic bullet-tip black. $1.46 2. Crayola Glitter Glue The perfect thing for writing Corey Hart's name on your science binder. Bonus: it's acid free, so you can use it to restore turn-of-the-century fine art and antique furniture, too. $3.48 3. Pilot Dr. Grip pen With a special space age silicone grip, Dr. Grip is the cushiest pen on the market. Pilot's self-professed "Revolutionary" ink is ideal for writing those edgy, against-the-grain manifestoes. $9.16 4. Three-inch Duct Tape Duct tape as wide as your fist. $15.96 at Pearl Paint (State-side only) 5. Honda S2000 VTEC Convertible The perfect accessory. Fully loaded with leather seats, power top, AM/FM CD player. It's shiny and brand new. $28,000 and count ing on eBay. 6. UHU Glue Stick Not the stickiest or smelliest glue on the market, but I just love saying UHU. Yoo hoo! Various sizes, the 9 gram is best for on-the-go gluing. 93¢ 7. Crayola Crayons 96-Pack The fully- loaded model. Complete with a built-in sharpener, and sans the non-PC Indian Red and Flesh colours, you can colour in style. Crayola recently denied reports of asbestos in its crayons, so it must be a coincidence that I experienced memory loss, dizziness, bone rot, explosive diarrhea, night sweats, dry mouth, sleeplessness, liver spots, mus- cle spasms, flaking skin, and hyper-obe sity while using this product. I still man- aged to stay inside the lines though. $4.69 8. Pokemon Pencil Case The label says "carry-all pouch," but you and I know it's a pencil case. $2.99 for the real thing, $1 knock-offs available on the street. 9. Bristol Board Available in a wide selec- tion of crappy colours, you can't beat it for the all-important science fair or geography project. Accept no substitutes. 99¢ a sheet 10. Pink-N-Ink The more versatile yet equally lousy cousin of the infamous Pink Pearl. This handsome two- tone number will erase both pencil and ink, badly. 96¢ 13. Lamest Exhibition Names 12. Art Brand Names 11. Disaaah-ster Movies 10. Things You Can Do To Make It Seem Like You Went To The Venice Biennale 09. Art Cliches 08. Things Dunda Wants For Xmas 06. Sneakers 05. Fizzy Drinks 04. Websites back to the top
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