1. Art and Laundry: Blurring the Boundaries -- If anything, I think boundaries between art and everything else ought to be reinforced and strictly monitored. I'm assuming this show is heavy on the "lint art" (see Lola #9 "Top Ten Art Cliches You Can't Do Any More").
2. Landscapes of the Soul -- This is the show your mom puts on after you move out and she enrolls in an oil painting class at the community centre taught by some aging poodle-haired hippie. So basically, it's all your fault.
3. Where Is Your Rupture? -- This one really was a real show, held at the Swiss Institute in NYC. The vaguely offensive and juvenile title cleverly illustrates the vaguely offensive and juvenile art within.
4. My Big Fat Photography Exhibition -- Even as an ironic play on the hit musical, it's still lame.
5. Changing Lanes: The Art of the Bus Transfer -- 'Nuff said.
6. Millennium Visions: The Future Is Now -- Ever notice how the most pretentious show titles use colons?
7. Cyberscapes: An Interactive Journey -- This is the show you saw in 1993 that had two Macs (one of which was out of order), and a v. slow internet connection. You thought it was cool at the time.
8. Can I Borrow A Feeling? -- Actually, this is an obscure Simpsons reference, but a lame title nonetheless.
9. New Poo Art -- All kinds of good shit in this show (Gilbert & George, Chris Olifi, Paul McCarthy et al.).
10. Dorkumenta -- Curated by that guy in grade school who always wore a cardigan, and featuring work by a guy who works at Silver Snail comics, the kid from "Mr. Belvedere," and you.
Jason Dunda lives in Chicago and gets all misty eyed when MTV2 plays Bryan Adams. email@example.com
12. Brand Names
11. Disaaah-ster Movies
10. Things You Can Do To Make It Seem Like You Went To The Venice Biennale
09. Art Cliches
08. Things Dunda Wants For Xmas
07. School Supplies
05. Fizzy Drinks
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